No Thanks To Men And To steak

I don’t really like steak. I’ve had a great steak and they’re fine, I just prefer a burger loaded with my favorite toppings and some fries.

Actually, the potatoes can come in whatever form you’d like to give them to me. You can even skip the meat altogether. Serve me up a plate of potatoes and I’ll love you forever.

Some people love their steak so much they find offense in how I can pass on it.

Even though I’m happy to sit with them while they eat their steak.

Even though I don’t make faces about it being a waste of money.

I would even cook someone a steak if they really wanted it! And I’ll eat it if it’s what’s for dinner. My only feeling about it is that I don’t really like it that much.

And since I don’t like it much, this expensive slab of meat, it seems a little wasted on me.

Despite what I think is a perfectly reasonable position on the matter, I offend the odd person with my preference against eating steak.

And in a similar way, I offend the odd person with my preference against getting married.

I don’t hate men. Actually I quite like a lot of them. As far as humans go I don’t think they’re any better or worse than the other varieties. I just prefer to not join up with one of them in any kind of long term legal and/or religious partnership.

That just seems like A LOT.

But this thing happens when I encounter someone who is really into marriage.

They want to know why I’m not into it. It’s the same as the steak-lovers. How on earth can I live my life without this thing they find so wonderful, so divine, so worthy of their time and money.

In my clumsy way of trying to answer their questions, I can see why I sometimes come across as man-hating.

I say things like:

“I don’t really know what I would do with a husband.”

Sex, I guess, but other than that I can’t think of anything I can’t just as easily do alone or with some other type of friend.

I say things like:

“I see really happily married couples and I just don’t want what they have.”

I can see they enjoy it and I’m happy for them, but imagining myself in their shoes makes me shudder a little.

I say things like,:

“Sure, maybe someday if I didn’t have to also live with him or talk to him every day.”

Marriage and steak — they just aren’t the treat to me that they are to some people.

Maybe one day I’ll meet someone whose company I enjoy so much that living with them sounds awesome.

I know better than to say ‘never,’ so who knows?

But I’m sure as hell not sharing a bedroom.