This birdhouse has a purpose and it is not to house birds, or to feed birds, or to do anything related to birds at all.Read More
You weren’t made to fit in somewhere - you were made to fit together with someones.
Pull up a chair and open your mouth and I’ll bet everything I have that we’ll find a source of connection, of togetherness.Read More
"Well that is just stupid."
"I should cancel this entire project."
"The people who ordered this book are going to be so disappointed when they get it."
"Pretty sure God didn't actually tell me to do this. I'm probably just an insane person."
"I'm definitely wasting my time."
"Gah, you need more."
"Gah, you need less."
"Aren't you so sick of yourself?"
"What are you doing? All this work for basically nothing? Seriously, get a job. "
"This is the worst thing you've ever written, ever."
I'm putting my little "Capturing Thoughts" book together today - hoping to have a proof to show you all soon - and these are actual thoughts I heard floating through my mind while working.
I cannot remember one time where God has said move and I have been able to move without opposition and without doubt.
But I also can't remember a time where God has said move and it hasn't been 100% worth it.
So when these thoughts floated on through I gave them a brief nod and kept working.
I said a little something to myself each time and moved on.
I said something about how I'm 80% sure this is what God asked of me and, honestly, 80% is pretty good. It's enough to do this work.
It's enough to pour myself out on these pages.
It's enough to bear the soul wrenching, ego ripping parts of writing and sharing.
It's enough to bear the tedious, monotonous parts too.
Especially when I'm 100% sure He will work through this book for His glory - 100% sure He'll work through it for my good.
I'm going to do through the doubt.
Because I'm 100% sure it will be worth it.
Years ago, I took a last minute trip to Iraq. It was two weeks away from my two year-old and it was traveling to a country perceived as dangerous, which made the trip selfish in the eyes of some.
In hindsight, it is easy to see God’s hand in the entire process, but in the middle, as I prepared to leave, I worried whether I was doing the right thing and acting with the right motives.
I wanted to go. I wanted it badly.
I wanted to travel back to the country I last saw as a soldier. I wanted to be a part of something positive there. I wanted to meet the people under different circumstances. I also wanted adventure. I wanted to get on an airplane and do something exciting. I wanted to do this thing – go to this place.
I told a friend what I was feeling, how I was scared this was a selfish act, a selfish decision. He responded, “How many people do you know who ‘want’ to do this?”
And something clicked for me. A big something.
A life-giving, freedom-giving something.
Wanting to do a thing, wanting to be a thing, wanting to go to a place – these do not poison an action. They are a part of every poisonous action, which is why I was confused, but wanting is not the poison.
If I am walking with God, abiding in Him, listening to the Holy Spirit – if I am ready and willing to stop when He says to stop, to go when He says to go, to stay when He says to stay – I don’t need to be afraid of my own desires.
If I am seeing Him for who He is, if I am daily giving my life to Him, I don’t need to stress, to strive, to stumble over every decision.
For six years, I have been doing more and more of what I want to do. Mostly, I avoid doing things because I think I should. Mostly, I avoid doing things because other people think I should.
I do what makes sense based on my circumstances, my strengths, my weaknesses. I walk closely with my God, so that my desires align with Him and I do the things I want to do.
I am a servant, but I am a servant to a freedom-giving God. I’m not a slave to my own expectations, nor a slave to the expectations of others. I’m not a slave to God’s expectations either – I could never meet them, they’ve already been met for me, and there is new grace and mercy for me every single day.
And for you, too.
You are free. Are you living free?