Father, make me beautiful.
This has been my one of my prayers for a few years now.. And I will keep praying it. I want to be beautiful. I think we all do.
We were made to be beautiful, attractive - a light to the world - and something inside of us knows this and craves it.
But something distorts our perception of beauty. We label and sort and pick and choose and select some humans to be beautiful and some to be ugly. Our labels and our sorting are like revolving doors, never stopping, and those who try to keep up only run in circles.
As a race, us humans can't seem to land on which things are "beautiful" and which are not. Is my butt supposed to be flat or round? Strong nose, or straight, or thin? Big eyes or small? Don't get me started on eyebrows.
Us human people - we desire beauty, but our standard for what fits the definition is ever-changing.
I think it's because the thing we want - that elusive thing - it is not something we can define in human terms.
I think it's because beauty is something far more mysterious and holy than smooth skin and long eye lashes. Beauty is God in us. It is light in us. It is love in us. Beauty grows, it doesn't fade.
I bet you know someone who avoids smiling in pictures because smiling brings out the little lines around her eyes. Someone who hides something beautiful - a smile, a laugh - in an attempt to be more "beautiful."
How often do we cover up beauty while trying to be "beautiful?"
The striving, the spending, the comparing - futile. It is all part of an empty game we are destined to lose. It's a waste of our dang time.
I will get old. I will get saggy. Soon enough, no amount of money will be able to transform this body into something "beautiful."
But I don't have to play this game.
Why chase "beauty" when I can have beauty? And so I pray. I don't know what beauty is exactly, but I know it is good, I know it is God's thing, and I know He can give it. I have tried to land on a definition, but I can't find it. Maybe you have a definition, but honestly, I think your definition will fall short. I think beauty is a Kingdom thing, something we can't quite understand. Not yet, anyway.
So I pray, "Make me beautiful."
We'll see how He answers.
(Photo Credit: My Mom :) And I chose this picture, despite it's terrible quality, because it shows me in glasses - which is when I feel the least "beautiful," AND simultaneously shows me in the place on earth I love the most, with some of my favorite people, happy as a dang clam.)