Enough

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All around me I see people saying “enough.”

Enough of consuming.  Enough of seeking things to fill me up when there are so many who exist on the tiniest fraction of what I already have.

Enough of spending time on myself when there are people around me who need something tangible – someone to sit with them, talk with them, pray with them, advocate for them.

Enough of conversion amounting to little more than fire insurance, self-righteousness, and some good feelies.  Enough of filling my life with “good” things to the exclusion of the best things.

Enough of doing things to impress people.  Enough of wasting precious minutes striving to be something which in the scope of eternity doesn’t even matter.

I am saying it too.

But God is teaching me to say it again, in a different context.

Because, unchained, I will rush out into the world like a freaking typhoon.  I will give everything away and judge you for keeping your stuff.  I will move to a war torn country, dumping every last bit of energy I have, and I will throw it in your sweet privileged American face.  I will scream about injustice and live frustrated when the world is not bending to my will.  I will rage against entitlement and consumerism, forcing me to swallow a large helping of guilt with every Pumpkin Spice Latte (because you’re crazy if you think I would give those up willingly).

So He says “YOU are enough.”

I am enough.  I could sit in this little room across from this computer, or with my nose in a book, for the rest of my days on earth.  And I would still be enough.  He loves me as I am now, as I used to be, and as I will be.  Because I am enough.  Nothing I can do will make me more or less worthy of anything He offers because He has already decided I am “enough.”

And then He says “I am enough.”

He is enough for me.  I need nothing else.  The world needs nothing else.  Anything I do apart from Him will be worthless, but anything I do with Him is priceless.

So I have had enough.  Enough of living selfishly, with a consumer mentality instead of a servant mentality.   Enough of trying to fit in at church instead of just being the church. Enough of doing what I think is right instead of resting in the Father, following His lead.  And I will change. Today, tomorrow, and the day after, I will be changing and growing.

BUT I am also remembering I am enough right now.  And He is enough for me.

I hope I can wake up each day, or 7 out of 10 at least, believing this with my whole heart, my whole mind, my whole strength - I am enough, and He is enough.