MORE TO LIFE THAN MATING


 I Am Single And Far From Sad About It

I'm single.  I like being single.  I have no plans to change this status. This can be weird for some people.  Not sure why, but it is my aim to make it less weird.  "Happily single" doesn't HAVE to sound strange to your ear.    

Wait, how long have you been single?

7 years.

It’s gone on long enough, right?

I didn’t know it needed to end.

Shouldn’t you be dating?

No, thanks.

Shouldn’t you at least be complaining about not dating, or complaining about being single?

I can’t remember uttering a single complaint – pun intended.

Shouldn’t you be sad? 

Quite happy, thank you.

Are you just pretending to be happy?

A friend once accused me of this.  I’m single, so I couldn't be actually happy – I must be pretending!  Would you ask this of anyone else who seemed content in their life?  I have my moments or days or even weeks occasionally where I'm not content.  Sometimes I'm tired of being in this world, sometimes I'm tired of being around other people, and sometimes I'm tired of myself.  But I just read a book, or pray, or watch a show, or all of those things and I get back to the whole contented life thing.  And never in those moments do I wish I had a husband - it just doesn't cross my mind as something that would make me feel better.

Why do you really want to be single? Is it because you're hung up on some lost love? 

No.  I promise you that isn't it. 

Are you too damaged?  Crazy?

Rational minds could disagree here :) 

Too selfish? 

Maybe.  Probably.  But I don't think it's the reason.  Even if it were, it seems a little weird to get married even when you don't want to in order to become more selfless.  There is more than one way to skin that cat.

So what is wrong with you? Why don't you want to get married when everyone else seems to?

To begin with, in my 34 years on this planet surrounded by human persons I have learned human persons don't always know what they want.  They often don't think of it at all.  Sometimes humans will see everyone doing something and assume they want it, regardless of whether it makes sense to them or is something they truly desire. (cough college cough.) So maybe most people want it, or maybe they just think they want it because that is what everyone around them does.  Maybe we have so intricately organized a culture around mated pairs that it is hard for people to imagine their place in the world as a single.

I will tell you what is “wrong” with me.  It is this: I believe there is more to life than mating, and mating is pretty low on my list of priorities. 

I believe there is more to life than finding a husband and getting married. 

I believe a marriage relationship takes a lot of time and energy and I’d rather spend that time and energy on other things.  If mating moves up the priority list, I'll reevaluate.  If God speaks to me and says "Marry that guy over there!" then I will reevaluate (after an MRI). 

For now, I have no interest in mating - don't try to set me up (seriously, it's annoying.) 

If you are single and struggling to find the "more" in life, reach out - send me a message.  If you're local, let's grab coffee.